Have you just suffered through a recent breakup with your ex? Do you think it was a mistake to do so? If you do, you might be tempted to try to reconcile immediately, but don’t. It’s understandable that you want to “state your case” in the hopes that your ex will hear you and want you back, but it’s likely only to make you more disappointed and hurt. You can, however, win back your ex in 25 days without going through this sort of heartache. There are three things you can do that will help you to be back together within 25 days.

First, be honest with yourself and see what needs to be changed if you are to reconcile with your ex. This is the hardest part, because a lot of us don’t want to see our flaws or faults, and we don’t want to admit that we’ve made mistakes. Therefore, it’s pretty easy to simply push this part of the process aside and not choose to deal with our own faults head on. However, we have to if we’re going to see and heal the issues within ourselves that contributed to the breakup. For example, if you lied a lot in the relationship, you have to be honest with yourself and start fixing this before you try getting back with your ex. Did your ex feel unappreciated? Did you spend enough time with him or her? You have to ask yourself a lot of hard questions before you even try to win back your ex.

Now the first thing to do is to perform an honest self assessment with yourself and explore those areas that could use improvement. It’s best to write these items down so you can plainly see them. Brainstorm for two or three days, contemplating simple changes you can make to allow this relationship to flourish. This is nothing that you need to share with anyone. Instead, this is for your own reference.

As your second assignment, work on making those changes you wrote down, actively. If you avoid doing this and try to get your ex back, you’re probably not going to succeed. For example, if you lied and this was a major reason for the breakup, it’s not going to work this time either if you don’t fix this. If you lack confidence, you’ll need more confidence. If you need to be more social, then work on being more social.

Your third assignment is that after you’ve worked on making improvements in yourself you want to see, begin to show up around your ex just so that he or she can see the changes you’ve made. Don’t try to get him or her back just yet. Instead, just let her see the positive changes you’ve made even as you show him or her those positive qualities he or she always liked. When the time is right, you can also apologize for the things you did wrong in the relationship. Be kind and confident when you speak to your ex. If you follow the steps above and show your ex the positive changes you’ve made with the final step, he or she will begin to realize that breaking up was a mistake and will want to be with you once again.