After a breakup, when your life is in shambles, sometimes all you want is a little help getting your life back together and getting a second chance with the love of your life. Unfortunately, help like that can be hard to find…but you don’t have to scavenge through cyberspace anymore looking for help…you’ve found it! Here are several tips to help you raise the odds of successfully getting your ex back.

1) It may feel counterproductive to your ultimate goal of getting him back, but it’s actually the best thing to do right after the breakup to cut your ties and sever contact for about a month’s time to allow the both of you to get your heads on straight. Your ex can’t miss you if you’re still seeing each other, and this time will let both of you re-evaluate how you feel.

2) How people in movies deal with breakups isn’t how it works in real life. Pining away on your couch until your friends come rescue you is a fantasy that looks appealing but rarely happens. Your recovery is up to YOU, so don’t waste your time and your life by holing up in a darkened room and crying yourself to sleep every day. You have to take action and take control of your own life!

3) Surround yourself with people who care about you. Friends, family…whoever you have that puts your feelings on a level almost with their own, make sure you spend a lot of time with them. The emotional support can help you to build up the power inside you to get things done. Just don’t use them as an outlet for all your sorrows…even a saint can only take so much of another person’s misery.

4) Even if it’s forced, you should stubbornly insist to yourself that you can still live your life without your ex in it…at least for that month. Get up and take some steps to pull your life back together and start living it again. Looking great builds confidence, so go through a personal checklist of things you don’t like about yourself and fix them all. After that, show off your rebuilt hotness and “I can do this” attitude by hitting the town with some friends and having a blast. Before long the forced smile will become a real one and you’ll lose yourself in some healthy, carefree fun!

5) When you’re working to get your ex back, make sure you’re not depending on anyone but yourself. You’re the only one who can make sure this all goes according to plan, because you’re the only one you can count on. Don’t trust your ex to take part in this or do as you want him to…you’ll have to make allowances for things he may do and take care to do the things that are sure to cause him to do what you need him to do. Remember, any sacrifices made for the two of you will have to be made by you…it’s unfair, but it’s how it is.

6) Things don’t fix themselves, and even when they get fixed they don’t always stay that way just by default. When you do get your ex back, it’s important not to let this happen again. The things the two of you resolved when you got back together should never affect your relationship again, and it’s YOUR job to make sure of it. Letting things go again just because the hard part seems to be over is nothing but a great way to bring about more trouble and heartache. If you really value your relationship, take care of it.

The main thing I’ve been trying to get across is that your life isn’t over when you lose a loved one…you can get over the pain and get him back if you just put yourself into it. Motivation and perseverance will help you win the day, and it isn’t just possible to win your ex back…the odds are in your favor! Now go get him back!