In the time immediately following a rough breakup, it can be easy to fall apart. Here are 5 tips to help you get through this time, and not only survive but come out on top…even with your ex back at your side.

1. Life goes on, and letting it pass you by will just put in an even worse position than where you are. No matter how you feel, you need to keep living your life. Do things that you enjoy, it’ll do you a lot of good.

2. Alcohol or drugs are not a solution. Turning to these for some comfort from your pain only serves to magnify your problems by further depressing you. If comfort is what you’re looking for, find it in a friend and not in a bottle.

3. Odd as it may sound, it’s actually a good idea to cut off contact with your ex for about a month after you two break up. This can really help your situation in a number of ways: it keeps more conflict from flaring up from all the emotion flying around, it gives you both time to evaluate your situations, and lets you form a plan for how you can most effectively get him back when the time is up, so that you don’t have to just do whatever comes naturally and hope it works. This no-contact term means no contact, period…no email, no text messaging, no phone calls…nothing.

4. First impulses are often bad ideas in this situation. Go by what your mind tells you, not what your broken heart pleads with you to do. Breakup situations are often very fragile, and an emotional or instinctive response to them often causes more harm than good. Use your logic, not your feelings.

5. Even though it’s 95% likely that your relationship is completely fixable, you may have to be prepared for the possibility that you and your ex may not be destined for one another. By all means, do your best to get him back and it’s very likely you will, but you may need to accept such a possibility and be ready to move on if you have to.

These 5 tips may not give you much comfort, but right now nothing probably will. If you heed their advice, however, they will show you the way to the right course of action. Never underestimate the power of having a helping hand, a plan…this is too tough of a situation to go it alone.

The best advice I can possibly give you right now is to make sure you have a plan. This is a great thing to be working on during that month of no contact, and it’ll really come in handy when that time is up and it’s time to work towards getting him back. Going into this without a plan or underlying strategy just isn’t wise, and you’ll probably find yourself having a lot harder of a time without it.