It may seem like exactly what you don’t want to do, but believe it or not cutting off contact with your ex can help a lot when you do decide to actively pursue a relationship with him. Rebuilding a life with him can be a lot simpler and easier after a term of about a month with no contact between you…and here are a few reasons why.

1) Usually when two people who’ve been fighting continue to be around each other when tempers are still high, it causes more problems. Separating for a month or so functions as damage control, keeping you two from lashing out at one another and making things worse.

By the time the month is over, everyone’s temper should have cooled off, and some real thinking to have started. A calmer head and a willingness to work on things is far more likely, and far more beneficial to the process of fixing your relationship and getting back together.

2) Just because you’re not actively fighting, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you. Even the nicest post-breakup relationship needs to have a break in it if you ever want to rekindle old feelings. If you two are still together after the separation, it’ll be like you never did break up and your ex won’t feel any need to get back together.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and you can’t miss it if it’s still there. Neither can your ex! By forcing him to live without you for a month, completely without you, he has to come to terms with the consequences of his decision. Often, the reality of being completely without you will soften him up to the idea of a second try.

3) Another benefit of being apart is that you have some time without pressure to organize a plan and figure out exactly what you need to do to get him back. Without him right up in your face, it’s easier to think and make decisions based on what your reasoning tells you, and not what your heart forces you to do.

It’s a tricky thing to get somebody back after a blowout…people in pain behave differently than you may expect, and the right actions to get the right result may not be what you anticipate. Having a preset plan that has worked out what you need to do ahead of time will help prevent you from doing the wrong thing on the spur of the moment, even if it seems like the right thing at the time.

So there you go. 3 reasons why it’s really beneficial to start out your breakup with a true clean break. No contact means no contact…no phone calls, no text messages, no email…nothing. This can really help you out, and I recommend it to everyone just fresh out of a relationship if you want to get your life together and get your ex back.