Do you feel sometimes that you are relationship challenged? Does it seem like everyone else knows how to attract the right person and nurture that relationship when you stay single or in dead end relationships? You would like a good relationship and deserve one as much as they do. What is the difference that causes them to find happiness?

Let me share something personal that might help. I had a beautiful baby boy almost six weeks ago. I’m finally coming out of the fog and recovering from a tough delivery, countless nighttime feedings, and the stress of figuring out a new baby. It’s interesting, everyone always talks about a mother’s instincts. As I have begun the journey again as a mother, I have once again been reminded what mother’s instincts are, and what they are not.

I used to think that mother’s instincts were magical powers given to a new mom that gave her the ability to know all of her baby’s needs and how to solve them. You can imagine my disappointment and embarrassment when I didn’t receive this special power when either of my children were born. On the contrary, I felt very lost and incapable. What I did inherit with childbirth was a deep desire to nurture my baby and care for him no matter what happened. I’d do anything for him, including turn my life upside down to accommodate a new baby.

Now that I have become acquainted with many other mothers, I know that the magical omnipotent power of mothering does not exist. Other mother’s instincts are like my own. We don’t do everything perfect, we all want to do the very best we can for our kids from the moment they are born.

The same is true in our romantic relationships. Each of us naturally yearns to be in a healthy, strong, happy relationship. But, just as a mother must learn how to apply her desire to be a good mother, we each must learn how to nurture and grow a good romantic relationship. We can do this by seeking advice from those who are in good relationships or have studied what it takes to nurture and create the relationship we instinctually desire to have.

So, when you find yourself discouraged because you are single or at the end of another relationship disaster, don’t be discouraged. You have the desire and instincts it takes to be in a good relationship. You just need the guidance to build what you wish into reality. Today is the day to stop doing it alone and ending up in the same dead end pattern. Now is the time to gain the courage to ask for help. Once you know the skills necessary and start applying them, you will be ready to find and nourish the relationship you deserve to have.